I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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