I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
