Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
