I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
