He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
