I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
