We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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