her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
