i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My vagina just recognized that song.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
