You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
