I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize