break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
