Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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