"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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