bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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