I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
