I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
