Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
