In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
