Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Blood and glitter go together right?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
