she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
