I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
sex in a hospital.. check
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
