Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
my poor anus
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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