his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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