I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
