If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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