I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
