I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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