it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
