How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I need help removing her.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
