32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
