I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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