3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize