your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
