I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
