All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
