I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
