just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Randomize
