My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
