Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
