he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Terrible idea I love it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
