Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
