Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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