Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
