cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
