I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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