too bad you live with your parents still
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
