im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
