I puked a lego.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Randomize
