Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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