My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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