clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize