thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You are the jesus of drinking
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
