God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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