I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You made out with two different species that night
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I am mentally ready for anal.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
