this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
