Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
