There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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