how can u be prego again
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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