so explain again why im purple
no
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize