she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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