I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
