don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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