This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
